The Petenshi Twins: A Massacre of the Mary Sues
by Ericaceous Addams
Summary: When twin demon girls have to join the Spirit Detectives in order to repent for trying to kill Yusuke, life gets a little bit...interesting for the detectives. Mary Suebashing and some OOCness. Plotholelicious.You have been warned. No pairings as of yet.
1. Josh Reiney

The leaves crunched as Keiko and her two friends Fookyu and Fookmi walked on either side of her. It was their third day of school and the hot summer air was slowly getting replaced by crisp autumn breeze. The three girls were planning on meeting Yusuke, Kurama, Hiei and Kazuma at Keiko's parent's Ramen House.

"Hey, look, the sun's so bright. Here, I know a shortcut that's cool and dark so we get to the Ramen House faster," Keiko suggested, leading the two girls into a very dark, ominous alleyway, which was rather odd and somewhat suspicious considering it was a bright, sunny afternoon.

Keiko's friend, Fookyu, frowned at the alleyway as her sister, Fookmi huddled close to her for protection. The two of them followed Keiko into the alleyway, pushing aside their doubts and fears about it. Keiko heard something fall from her bag and she scanned the ground around her for it, but she didn't see whatever was missing.

"Hey guys, I think I dropped something. I need to look for it, but you can just go ahead without me."

"All right," Fookmi said uncertainly as she and her sister took slow steps further into the alley. Suddenly, two figures jumped down from a rooftop up above the alley and attacked the twin sisters before they could do anything. Suddenly, there was a small flash of light and the two girls who attacked Fookmi and Fookyu were gone. The twins got up and rubbed their heads as Keiko exclaimed,

"Found it!" She held up a small tube of 99¢ lip-gloss. What a cheap ass. "Something wrong?" Keiko inquired, noticing her friends were rubbing their heads and looking down at themselves in a confused way.

"No, we're fine," Fookyu said in a tone that was not very convincing.

"God, could she have uglier friends?" Fookmi muttered to her sister, hoping Keiko wouldn't hear her.

"Okay, well, come on, we need to meet them in five minutes," Keiko said, checking her watch as she hurried up in front of the twins.

Making sure to keep out of earshot, the twin with the most malicious facial expression whispered to the other, "Let's just hope she leads us to the right people. Remember, our objective is to knock the three of them out and kill Yusuke. We're just using Keiko to lead us, but we need to dispose of her as soon as possible so as to make our job easier."

"Right," the twin known as Fookmi whispered. "Oh, and Jana?"

"Yes?"

"How long are we going to be in these putrid adolescent bodies?"

"Aw, Yukiji, give it a rest. This can wait to AFTER we finish the job."

"Come on, you two, you're lagging behind!" Keiko shouted over her shoulder. In response the twins hurried toward the leader and within seconds they were at the Ramen House.

The bell of the Ramen House door dinged as the trio walked into the store, causing the group of four males to look up.

"Hi!" Kuwabara said, waving stupidly at Fookyu. He had grown to have a slight crush on Keiko's friend, even though she looked exactly like her twin sister.

Fookyu and Fookmi looked bemused while Keiko rushed over to Yusuke and kissed him on the cheek.

Kurama stood up suddenly, alarming something deep and instinctive in Fookmi's subconscious: it was her signal to preemptively strike. She ran up to Kurama and kicked him in the nuts, causing him to bend over in pain.

"What the--hell--was that for?!" Kurama panted, gasping for air as he nursed his boolsek.

Fookyu nodded knowingly to her sister and took the ice shard from her leg, holding it above her head and shouting, "ICE FIRE LIGHTNING KITSUNE NEKO SUPER SAIYAN THREE YOUKAI POWERS...ACTIVATE!"

A cloud of ice and sparkles crept rapidly across the room, causing Kuwabara to freeze and Hiei to freeze as well, but not for long. He used his spirit energy to unfreeze himself and then he lunged for Fookmi. Luckily, Fookmi saw him coming, and pulled out her Final-Fantasy-Brotherhood-Tetsaiga-All-Powerful-I'm-going-to-kick-your-ass-kind-of-almighty katana that she had inherited from her squirrel demon father, which is entirely realistic because it's common knowledge that squirrels like to run around carrying godly swords that are 3948545894 times bigger and heavier than they are. She ran at Hiei with similar speed and the two clashed katana and began an epic battle of two master sword wielders.

Meanwhile, Kurama took his rosewhip out of god knows where and aimed it towards Fookyu. She saw it just in time and dodged it. She used her powers to make a pillar of ice appear under Kurama. He went up into the air with the pillar. Fookyu then made the pillar disappear and Kurama came crashing down with a sickening thud. Fookyu watched him struggle to get up, and then fall back down. She was sure that he was unconscious, not dead.

Yusuke had been over at Kuwabara's frozen form the whole time, trying to unfreeze his friend and determine how long he would be able to survive in the ice block he was currently encased in. Now he noticed that Fookyu had taken down Kurama, and he aimed a blast from his spirit shotgun at her. She saw it coming, but she was not so lucky this time. The blast hit her square in the chest and she was knocked into a wall of the Ramen Shop. She fell to the ground and the pieces of the wall that the blast hit toppled over on top of her unconscious form. Hiei and Yusuke slowly approached each other as they studied the ruins of the battle.

"So what do you propose we do now, detective?" Hiei asked calmly as if this was an every day occurrence.

"Well, I should probably contact Koenma in Spirit World so he can deal with our attackers, and you should unfreeze Kuwabara, and then make sure Kurama stays all right until Botan gets here and is able to heal him," Yusuke said as he pulled out the compact that Botan had given him ages ago.

"Do I really have to unfreeze Kuwabara? I like him so much better as an ice sculpture. I think he would look nice in Genkai's living room, or perhaps in that park near here." Yusuke sweat dropped and regretfully informed Hiei that yes, he did have to unfreeze Kuwabara.

Moments later Koenma arrived with The Spirit World Special Defense Force. Yusuke glared at the defense force as they walked by and rushed over to the attackers. Both of them had changed. The bodies of Keiko's two brown-haired brown-eyed friends lay beside the bodies of two other girls. One girl had purple hair framing her face, while the rest of it was brown. She had ice blue eyes, though they were closed at the moment. She was wearing a black T-shirt, ripped jeans, and black tennis shoes. She was also wearing a necklace with a snowflake charm on it. The girl next to her had a rather odd appearance, seeing as how she was wearing only a green toga and had curly sun-bleached hair. Her eyes fluttered open briefly, revealing bright emerald-green eyes.

Everyone waited in silence as half the spirit defense squad was repairing the hole in the wall and wiping the memories of everyone who had witnessed the events, and the other half stood next to the spirit detectives and Koenma, who had gathered around the four unconscious girls. Eventually, the two who were not Keiko's friends awoke.

"Who are you and why did you attack my detectives?" Koenma inquired as soon as the girls sat up.

"Well..." the blue-eyed girl began.

"We came here to kill Yusuke. We're both Fire-Ice-Lightning-Earth-Kitsune-Neko-Vampire...Sheep demons who were thrown off their home island for being forbidden children JUST LIKE HIEI, which is why in chapter two Hiei and Kurama are going to fall hopelessly in love with us and our hyper gothicness," the green-eyed girl said. Everyone looked at her with confused expressions. Most of them were trying to figure out how someone could possibly be a Fire-Ice-Lightning-Earth-Kitsune-Neko-Vampire-Sheep-demon. The first girl spoke and interrupted their thoughts.

"She's only joking. We really are twins, though not identical, and we did come here to kill Yusuke."

"How did you take over the bodies of Keiko's friends?" Kurama inquired before anyone else could ask why they wanted to kill Yusuke.

"Simple," Yukiji said with a mischievous grin, her green eyes glinting. "We each hold our necklaces--"she held up a leaf-charmed necklace which up until now was concealed by her toga, "--and whisper our names along with the names of the people we wish to possess. There's a flash of light and then you're in their body."

Jana saw Hiei eyeing her own necklace skeptically and continued, "But it only works with your own talisman. And, naturally, only Petenshi gang members can own a talisman such as this." She looked stricken as soon as she realized she may have spoken too much. "I mean--"

"Forget it, demon, too late," Hiei said smugly.

"So, Koenma, what do we do with them?" Kurama asked, giving Jana the once-over.

"Well, we've captured these girls, why not use them to our advantage?" Turning to the newfound demons, he said, "You have two options: go to limbo or join our Spirit Detectives."

Yukiji mumbled something about "where he can stick his spirit detective" but Fookyu didn't laugh, she seemed to be thinking deeply about what Koenma had said. Finally, she said,

"We choose to join your 'Spirit Detectives.'"


	2. Brazooka!

The blonde one seemed confused. "I thought our code of honor was to fight for evil! Never surrender! Take whatever you can and never give back--"

"For fuck's sake, Yukiji, we're not friggin' pirates!" Jana said in a voice she had picked up from some more aggressive gang members.

The second girl looked down in sadness while Jana stood up. "Now, if you don't mind, what is it my sister and I must do now that we are in your service?"

"Aheh, you're girls! You can clean our houses!" Kuwabara said stupidly. Hiei rolled his eyes and Botan, who had just arrived and unfrozen Kuwabara, sweat dropped.

"More or less along those lines, I suggest we make them do our paperwork. Koenma could use a break. However," Kurama said, taking another glance at the blonde, "we can just keep her around for fun."

"Wow, I think that's the closest Kurama's ever going to get to a sex joke this whole chapter," Yusuke said, amazed.

"Hn, more like his whole life," Hiei commented darkly. Though he was never one to make sex jokes either, he was more so inclined that way than Kurama was. Or, at least he thought.

"It's okay, I'm not one for blondes anyway," Kurama said, surprising everyone around him again.

"Where exactly do we stay in the meantime? Do we need our own hotel or house to stay in? And what do we tell the Petenshi?" Jana asked, ignoring the sex jokes.

"I'm sure the Petenshi predicted you would fail. Kurama seems fond of you, perhaps you can stay at his house," Koenma suggested.

"I already have a female house guest, I'm sure my mother would get suspicious if I had three girls in our house."

"They're definitely not living in my huge-ass castle, nope, not enough room," Hiei protested.

"My apartment's too small. Can't," Yusuke said as Koenma's eyes laid on him.

"I can let the two pretty ladies stay at my house!" Kuwabara offered.

Jana looked indifferent but Yukiji looked ready to protest.

"It's this or limbo," Jana whispered to her sister so as to remove all possible chance of Yukiji doing something irrational. Luckily, she did keep quiet.

"Yes, we will stay with you."

"So, now that we're all chummy, why did you try to kill me?" Yusuke asked.

"Remember Genkai's tournament? Well, my father was in his demon squirrel form watching the tournament from a distance. You see, he was injured quite a bit and couldn't fight anyway, so he just watched. You know how squirrels are: always watching things... It's creepy, but it's what they do.

"Anyways, while you were walking through the forest, you actually killed our father."

"What? I don't remember killing any squirrel demon!" Yusuke exclaimed.

"Oh, but you did!" said Jana.

FLASHBACK:

Yusuke and Kuwabara were walking through the forest during Genkai's tournament. Suddenly, there was a rustling in one of the trees. Kuwabara freaked out, thinking it was a demon. Yusuke shot at the tree with his spirit gun, and unnoticed by him and his companion, a small, innocent-looking squirrel fell out of the tree, swirly-eyed and dead.

END OF FLASHBACK

"I don't believe it was anything personal against him, but now Yukiji and I were attempting to avenge his death. Nothing personal against you guys, either, we were just trying to knock you unconscious while we killed Yusuke," Yukiji continued.

"Hmph, 'nothing personal,'" Hiei mimicked. Yukiji frowned at him.

"Where'd Keiko go?" Yusuke asked, completely oblivious to everything else.

"I think she ran upstairs with her parents to protect them. I'm sure the Spirit Defense Force took care of it," Kurama said.

"Well, I guess our little lunch date is pretty much not gonna happen," Yusuke said with a sigh.

"Hey! We could all have lunch at my house! And while we do that Yukiji and Jana could unpack and get settled in and stuff. I'm sure Shizuru wouldn't mind, as long as we're not loud," Kuwabara offered.

"I'm sure you'd all have a very nice time with that. I'll open a portal so Yukiji and Jana can get their things, and then I'll open up a portal to your house," Koenma said, snapping his fingers and making a blue portal appear.

"Sounds good," Yusuke said. He looked up at the stairs. "I think Keiko may be busy dealing with her parents so why don't we let it be just us?"

So, Yukiji and Jana went through the portal to get their things, and everyone else walked to Kuwabara's house, which was located conveniently close to the Ramen Shop.

x x x x x

"S'up kid?" Shizuru said upon seeing Kuwabara enter the kitchen.

"Hey Shizuru! Could you make us some lunch? We're starving!" Kuwabara said as he motioned to the others.

"I'll help you," Kurama offered upon seeing Shizuru's annoyed expression at having to make lunch for everyone.

"All right. Just wait in the living room while ginger and I make lunch." Shizuru gave in. Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Hiei sat out in the living room and waited patiently for their food. Just then a blue portal appeared in Kazuma's guest bedroom and Yukiji, Jana, and Koenma walked out of it.

"This is the guest bedroom, where you two will be staying. Feel free to unpack and then you should let the others know that you're here. I'll be going now since I have more important matters to attend to. Be good for Kuwabara and Shizuru. I'm not exactly sure where their parents are since they're never shown in the anime, but if they decide to randomly appear be good for them too." Koenma said as he walked through the portal.

"Yeah, yeah," Yukiji muttered. She chose the bed on the right and started unpacking her stuff. Jana found it odd that guest bedroom would have two beds, seeing as though most people don't expect multiple visitors, but she shrugged it off. Maybe it was like the room of requirement from Harry Potter. Or maybe it was because fanfic writers don't think about that kind of stuff and just write everything to accommodation. She decided she liked the first idea betterand then she began to unpack as well.

IN THE LIVING ROOM:

"Okay, kiddies, lunch is served," Shizuru said as she and Kurama placed two trays filled of sandwiches on the table.

"Hey Hiei, could you go get Jana and Yukiji? I think they should be here by now," Kuwabara said as he pointed to the guest bedroom.

"Hn," Hiei responded as he got up and walked over to the bedroom. He opened he door and saw Jana hanging a Marilyn Manson poster above the bed, next to some other random heavy metal "gothic" artists.

"Where's your sister?" Hiei asked, noticing Yukiji's absence.

"She's outside peeing on a tree to mark her territory. It's actually kind of funny. Wanna watch?" Jana asked as she motioned to the window.

"No thanks. What the hell are you hanging on the wall?" Hiei said as he looked around at Jana's various posters.

"These are posters of my favorite bands. They're your favorite bands too, because in cliche HieixOC fanfiction you're labeled as gothic in human terms just because you wear a lot of black. Then you fall in love with me and my shitty emoness and Hot Topic clothes, even though you really despise those whiny teenagers, and you listen to Hanson," Jana explained. Hiei glared at her.

"How did you know about my Hanson fetish?" Hiei asked menacingly. Jana sweatdropped.

"I didn't, I was only joking. I'll be sure to post it on myspace and let all your fangirls know, though."

"Right. Well, Kuwabara sent me in here to tell you and your sister that lunch is ready," Hiei said, leaving the room and slamming the door behind him.

Jana giggled slightly as the short, hot-headed boy left. She couldn't help but wonder whether the whole "tough guy" thing was an act or if it was really Hiei's personality. A bloodcurdling scream interrupted her thoughts. She immediately looked through the window to see her sister flailing frantically while being pulled up by her toga into the tree tops.

Jana held her snowflake charm necklace and teleported to a few feet away from her sister. She had been able to teleport farther and farther each time she practiced, and just fifteen feet was something to be proud of.

"YUKIJI! I'll help you, what's pulling you up?"

"I don't know! All I heard was this strange, 'shoo-ah shoo-ah shoo-ah shoo-ah spoke-oh spoke-oh spoke-oh' noise. Next thing I knew I was being dragged up the tree by my--OUCH--clothes!" She looked on the verge of tears as she said this.

Jana took her hand and tried to pull her down, but to no avail. She even considered using her ice powers to get her sister down, but did not think it would be wise to use them seeing as how she didn't know what was pulling her sister up. Besides, what if she hurt Yukiji? Or perhaps the creatures pulling her up were quite strong and would only get angry if attacked with magic?

"Kuwabara! Yusuke! Hiei! HELP!" screamed Jana. Yukiji's body was halfway up the treetops.

"You're doing so good, Kiji! The guys will come and help you, don't worry!" Jana tried to reassure her sister, whose face she could no longer see.

"Oh, my God! What the hell are these things? Jana, try to look up! They're like, chibi robot things... except medieval-style! They all have pink hair and purple dresses and clothes..."

"How big are they? How could they have dragged you up?"

"Gah, they're so loud! I--don't know! Magic?!" Yukiji sounded extremely distressed.

Luckily, Yusuke, Hiei, Kuwabara, Shizuru and Kuwabara rushed to the scene.

"Hmm," Kurama said thoughtfully.

"What's happening? Why is she stuck in the tree like that?" Kuwabara asked, hysterical. "Nevermind, I'll get her!" He jumped over to Yukiji and yanked her feet. However, she did not come down.

Hiei analyzed the scene and ran to the tree so fast that he was able to walk up the trunk and onto a branch near Yukiji.

"What the--? What are these things? Oh--Yukiji, hold on to my back."

Yukiji struggled to get her hand up onto Hiei's shoulder, but once she got one arm up the other one was easier. Once securely on Hiei's back he jumped down from the trees.

After she climbed down from the ride Jana rushed over to her to comfort her.

"I don't understand, all I was doing was peeing on the tree to mark it as my territory!" Yukiji defended herself. Still attached to the ass of her toga were four or five little creature things, all squeaking, "Comida! Bee Are? Pleex, ei frist! Pleex!"

"Just as I suspected: BR's," Kurama stated quietly. Everyone gaped at him with a "WTF" look, which encouraged him to continue: "Yes, they're woodland-dewelling creatures that are very territorial. They eat flowers like crazy and are prone to randomly attacking people. In this case, I gather that Yukiji's marking-of-territory action triggered them to attempt to kidnap her." He casually swaggered over to Yukiji and picked the creatures off her ass, then threw them onto the top of the tree.

Everyone seemed relaxed now, except for Jana.

"What kind of sick creatures is Ningenkai full of? I've heard of platypuses, rhinoceroses, llamas... But this definitely takes the cake!"

"Eh, you'll get over it," Yusuke said in a casual Vince-like tone. Jana shot him a mean glare and walked towards the house, everyone following behind.

If only she could know of the stronger, less benign forces that lurked in places more common than trees.

Review or we'll send the BRs to attack you. Fuckers. .i.


	3. Mistar Rogerz lAwL

When they returned to the Kuwabara residence Yukiji posed an interesting question. "Kurama, where are you going to sleep?"

"He's gonna sleep in the second guest room in the basement!" Kuwabara answered.

"You have a second guest room?" Jana asked in disbelief.

"Yup! We just finished it last weekend," Kuwabara said with a proud nod.

"What the hell do you have one for?" Yukiji asked.

"Because dear sister, plot holes are fun! We should probably let Kurama go to his room and deposit all his stuff. We'll catch you guys later, OK?" Jana said as she grabbed Yukiji by her wrist and led her to their room. Kurama headed downstairs to the room that he would be staying in. When he got there he was surprised to see one of the windows had a large hole in it and there were pieces of glass on the bed. He walked over to the bed and saw a medium-sized gray rock with a note attached to it. It read:

"We are coming for you in three days. You better be prepared; we don't enjoy quick fights.

-The Petenshi Gang"

"Well, that was terribly original," Kurama said with a frown. Despite their unoriginality Kurama knew the Petenshi were quite powerful and very serious. He had better inform the other detectives of the note so they could train. He decided he would tell Kuwabara and the twins at breakfast the next morning, and then get Koenma to inform Hiei and Yusuke. He walked over to the closet on the other side of the basement and searched for a dust pan and small broom. When he found them he swept the shards of glass into the dust pan and emptied it into a trash can. It would be a little chilly with the window open, but he would survive. He brushed his teeth, changed into his pajamas, and crawled into bed.

The next morning Shizuru had made apple cinnamon pancakes for everyone. When Yukiji walked into the room Kurama was the first to greet her.

"Good morning," he said with a smile small before returning to his pancakes.

"Where's your sister?" Kuwabara asked once he noticed that Jana was MIA. Kuwabara frowned at this choice of words. MIA? Mia? He was certain her name had been Jana before. But why would it be Mia? How the hell do you pronounce that anyway? My-uh or Me-uh[rofl i think we can keep this bit for a little comic relief

"I'm having a bit of trouble waking her up," Yukiji stated bursting Kuwabara's thought bubble.

"Why? It's not like it's a weekend or anything," Kuwabara stated.

"Let's just say she's a bit...difficult in the morning," Yukiji said, choosing her words carefully.

"How hard could it be? Just lemme at her!" Kuwabara exclaimed as he walked into the guest room. Yukiji followed behind him with an anxious expression. She wasn't sure if Kuwabara would be able to survive her sister's early morning grouchyness. Kuwabara stared in shock at the lump under the covers that had to be Jana. She looked relatively innocent. He approached her calmly and began to poke her arm flab. "Hey, wake up!" he said a little louder than normal. Jana made a noise like a wounded animal and burried her face deeper into her pillow. "I said wake up!" Kuwabara shouted again. He shook her a little. Jana groggily lifted her head and opened one eye.

"Suck my long. Hairy. Pink. Throbbing...big toe," She said menacingly as she closed her eye and attempted to go back to sleep. Kuwabara frowned and shook her more violently. Jana suddenly sprung out of bed and lunged at him, pinning him to the wall. She glared at him with such loathing you would've thought that they had been worst enemies for years. "NEVER wake me up before 10," she said angrily. She turned to Yukiji and took the super special awesome sword out of her sister's sheath and walked into the dining room while polishing it on her shirt. She approached the table slowly. Kuwabara eyed her with anticipation. He hoped she wouldn't take her anger out on Kurama. She continued walking until she was right next to him. Kurama's eyes widened a little at the sword in her hand but he said nothing. He knew physical fighting was not her strength, so he had a good chance of winning should she attack him. She glared down at him for a few seconds before saying, "Sup?" She scooped a pancake onto her plate and then began spreading butter onto it with the sword.

"That went surprisingly well," Yukiji said with a small smile. She and Kuwabara returned to the table to finish the rest of their pancakes. Once everyone had finished eating Kurama stood up dramatically.

"Last night I recieved a letter from the Petenshi Gang." He held up the small note so they could all see it.

After everyone had read it, Kuwabara spoke first. "What? How did they find out where Yukiji and Jana were staying?"

"Well, obviously your house is quite close to Keiko's shop, which was our attack destination," Jana said simply.

"That's retarded--there are, like, six people in the Petenshi Gang who are like way stronger than us. We wouldn't stand a chance! Screw this, I'm not even bothering training. Where's my kaishakunin? I'm in need of some honorable seppaku right about now," Yukiji babbled determinedly, grabbing the buttery katana from her sisters loose fist.

"Cool your jets, Kiji! We have the spirit detectives on our side. We DO stand a chance." Jana offered a weak smile in an attempt to calm down her younger-by-point-one-millisecond twin sister.

Yukiji sighed. "If we stand a chance--how could we train in three days? There's no way I can raise my demon energy up by eight-hundred thousand by then."

"That will be a challenge, but don't forget, we have the Crimson Elixir on our side--assuming, of course, Jana will be willing to share the formula," Kurama said raising an eyebrow.

"Well, it's a good thing I never really showed anyone in the Petenshi Gang how to make my elixirs--I was the supplier and that was all there was to it. They didn't ask much about it, thank the Egyptian gods. I fully intend to teach you how to make the elixir. Maybe even the blue-haired ferry girl."

If you're wondering about Shizuru, she had only had coffee and a leftover muffin for breakfast, and after putting the pancake platter on the table went into the living room to watch TV. She hadn't heard a word they were saying, so don't think this is an oppurtunity for you to complain about a plot hole.

The four continued to eat their breakfast and eventually Kurama called for Botan, Yusuke and Hiei to come over to discuss the dilemma and prepare.

"I'm not happy about having to clean up after your mess. I'm appalled Koenma even forced you under service after what you tried to do to Yusuke. Still, if you want me to fight, I'll fight, and I'm confident I'll slice them all to pieces," Hiei said darkly once they had all gotten settled at the kitchen table.

"Fuck you, Hiei, this isn't all about you--you're not going to be the hero in all of this."

"Do not underestimate my abilities."

"Yeah, well, stop thinking you're so tough! You may not have heard of the Petenshi Gang, but that's only because they're a group of high-class demons who tend to lay low to ward off suspicion. You don't know what you're up against. It's a group of eight, but with me and Yukiji gone, they have six. For now."

"Well, tell us all about them individually," Kurama said.

"The ones I know the most about are Norichi, Subaru and Zura. Norichi controls ice, and is deadly at it. If she were up against Toya, he would hardly stand a chance. Her demon energy is close to a million. Let's see... She's almost two thousand years old, although she has the appearance of a six year old child, which really throws you off. Subaru... Let's see, Subaru looks like an teenage girl and wears trashy school girl clothes. She carries around a giant mace that she enjoys smashing her enemies with. She can calculate your next move just by looking directly into your eyes. I suppose that's her fault, because once her opponent realizes her eye trick they can easily avoid eye contact and fight her normally. Zura, I think she's not very tough, either, and she's not very smart, but she can summon mystical creatures at will to kill her enemies. I'd say her demon energy is about the same as mine. So, yeah, the other three I never really got to talk to because I was always on the skirmisher side of the team," Yukiji explained, taking huge gulp of air.

"Jana, are you familiar with the others?" Kurama asked.

"Of course not. I've only lived with them for a good portion of my life. You can't expect me to actually know anything about them," Jana said in a bored tone as she looked at her fingers. Yukiji frowned at her sister and elbowed her.

"Okay fine, I do know a bit about the others. First off there's Kiragatosuigakibarabakarama-chan. We usually just call him Sweater Vest for short. I must say, he's very pretty. He has straight black hair that falls in front of his dark brown eyes, and he dresses like Kurama; minus the school uniform, of course. Despite his appealing looks, he's quite the psycho. His story is an interesting one.

"He was originally a human. He was a psychologist, but then he used the money from doing therapy to put him through medical school and he became a surgeon. He showed a lot of promise, and many medical experts thought he would be great someday. However, something in him snapped and he began to perform horrible, torturous experiments on his patients. One day, a demon came to him in a human form. He had plans to kill Sweater Vest, but Sweater Vest got to him first. He was fascinated to learn that his newest specimen had all the organs and most of the bodily functions of a human, but did not react to pain in the same way and had no signs of aging. In order to save himself, the demon went into his full form and almost killed Sweater Vest, but the demon was low class anyway and had been weakened by the surgeries. Sweater Vest finished him off, but continued to study demons. Eventually, he found a way to combine his genetics with theirs and found a way to morph himself into a demon. I never saw his true form, but I've heard it's pretty nasty.

"When he fights, he uses mostly physical attacks. If I'm not mistaken, he uses a sword and is pretty skilled at it. He also uses his knowledge of psychology to mentally abuse his opponent and psych them out so they're too distracted to fight in battle. Apparently, when he's at his best, he confuses his opponent so much that they can't distinguish fantasy from reality. I definitely wouldn't want to mess with him.

"Next, there's Roshi. He has reddish brown hair and almost-glowing brown eyes. His usual attire is a plain red shirt and blue jeans. He also wears a necklace like ours, but his charm is a flame which represents his fire attacks. He's the epitome of the fire element. He's passionate and energetic and he fights until he simply can't anymore. Roshi's also a bit on the egotistical side. His overconfidence could possibly be his downfall.

"The final member of the Petenshi Gang is Ayeka. I personally have always liked her. She's one of the kindest members of the gang, but in battle she's a cold-hearted killer. She has chin length, platinum blonde hair with purple streaks. Her eyes are generally a grayish blue, but in battle they transform into an electrical blue. She commonly wears a dark blue belly shirt with a dark blue skirt and black pants underneath. On her wrist, she adorns a black bracelet with silver charms on it. She has one charm for every demon she's killed. She uses this charm to harness their powers and mimic some of their attacks. She's very artistic, so she will kill you in the most creative way possible. Her spirit energy can take on the form of anything she wants it to, so her attacks are a bit unpredictable. She does all right in physical fighting, but her spirit attacks are definitely her greatest strength. I don't believe there's anything else you need to know about them," Jana finished calmly. Her tone had gone apathetic and her eyes were clouded. Yukiji looked at her sister with concern, but said nothing.

"Holy crap!" Yusuke exclaimed.

"Let's see, we have Yukiji, myself, Kurama, Kuwabara, Jana, and Yusuke. Just enough people to fight," Hiei noted.

"Then let's get to training."

"Too bad Genkai's dead," Kuwabara said wistfully.

Botan jabbed him in the side, probably causing him a fair deal of pain. "Hey! You can't say that! This isn't a Genkai fic, so DON'T MENTION GENKAI!"

"Gee, excuse me, Miss PMS," Kuwabara mumbled.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

Kuwabara pulled out a megaphone from God-knows-where and said, "OH, I'M SORRY, MRS. CRABTREE; I SAID: EXCUSE ME, MISS P-M-S!"

Botan tackled him and started beating him with her oar. Because he wasn't allowed to fight back by certain chivalrous standards, when the beating was over he weakly got back onto his feet, bruised and puffy on most of his body.

"Enough you too," Yusuke said even though the fight had lasted for a whole minute and nobody had said anything to prevent it until after it was over, which seems to happen in many fics. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you two had a thing for each other."

"SHUT UP, Yusuke! You know my heart is reserved for one woman--and that's my dearest Koorime, Yukina."

"Jeez Kuwabara, I know."

"We need to train. Jana, Botan, we can come over to my house to prepare the Crimson Elixir. In my basement there's a small chemistry lab. If we need anything from the spirit or demon world we can contact Koenma and he'll be obliged to supply us with transportation wherever needed. Does that sound good?"

"Sure," Jana said, smiling and tucking a strand of purple hair behind her ear. She, Botan and Kurama started off to his house at a human's pace. Kuwabara turned back to the other three.

"I say we start fighting to the death on each other--But right before one of us dies we can stop fighting and heal a l'il bit."

All of them agreed and trained like that until midnight, where Jana, Botan and Kurama returned with two large bags full of what seemed to be soda bottles. They were, in fact, full of Crimson Elixir. Botan was floating behind them on her oar, looking beat.

"Let's all go to bed. Hiei, Yusuke, would you mind crashing in the living room? Hiei can have the loveseat and Yusuke can have the couch," Kuwabara said without giving them a chance to answer.

"You know, I'm actually--sort of--excited. I haven't faced a challenge like this in quite some time," Hiei said, his voice actually resembling the foreign emotion of happiness.

"I must admit that I'm looking forward to testing out my skills, even if I may die," Jana commented.

"You mustn't talk like that. We have a chance, and talking sorely will not help matters," Kurama said.

Yukiji rolled her eyes. "You sound like a fag," she muttered. Right after she said this she looked up at Kurama and saw he was glaring at her. His hair blew elegantly to the right and for an instant his eyes flickered gold by the moonlight.

"I'm sorry, buddy." She held out her arms and took a step forward toward Kurama. She felt the warmth of his body despite the fact that he was wearing a thick, wool school uniform and it was -3432432 degrees out. She gingerly unfastened the buttons on his blazer and lifted her hands under his shirt. Her fingers fumbled as she tried unhooking his bra.

"Hey, enough yaoi, you two!" Kuwabara growled.

"I'M NOT A MAN!" Yukiji shouted indignantly, a reflex to this usual insult. The scene suddenly POPPED. Yukiji was now standing in front of Hiei and Kurama's blazer was buttoned up. He was standing casually as if nothing had happened.

'Damned continuity,' she thought as she willed the authoress to cut back to the lemon scene.

"We weren't saying you were a man, we're simply saying Kurama. Is. A chick." Yusuke braced himself for the expected blow but nothing came. Kurama was busy checking his nails for imperfections.

"Jana, would you mind assisting me in bringing the bags of Elixir back to the guest room I'm using in the basement?" Kurama asked. Jana nodded.

"Sheesh, don't those two ever run out of energy?" Botan said, wiping the sweat from her brow.

"What are you sweating for? You probably didn't help them one bit!" Kuwabara growled.

"Oh, apox on you. I was the one who had to contact Koenma several times and run amock through the demon world grabbing ingredients for the formula--which, for your information, is the most intricate and difficult-to-make medium I have ever come across."

"Woah. Sounds like you've had it rough, eh, Botan?" Yusuke remarked casually, chuckling. After a few more minutes of chit-chat the group went into the house.

"Come back tomorrow, Botan!" Kuwabara shouted out the window had launched off a second before once the group inside the house had taken off their shoes.

"Don't worry, I will!" she called back.

"Yeah, I'm pretty tired... 'Night, guys," Yusuke said, yawning as he walked into the living room and turned off the light. He plopped on the couch and fell asleep almost instantly.

Everyone else went to sleep. 


End file.
